Counseling
Therapeutic Guideposts
[the basics of my approach]
The pathway toward healing looks different for everyone. My approach is attuned to the needs of each individual, not a one size fits all. Our work together will uniquely reflect your goals, hopes, and experiences.
At the same time, I hold some central beliefs about what helps humans grow and evolve, and these influence my work with clients. Here are a few:
Relationships are the vehicle for change.
Humans are like beautiful mosaics — lots of individual parts that make up a complex whole.
The past informs the present.
Shame is an ineffective motivator.
Our bodies contain a wellspring of information.
Knowledge alone is not sufficient for change. If it was, you would have already done those things.
You matter. Like a lot.
“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.”
My Theoretical Orientation
[how I work clinically]
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The past informs the present, and it’s valuable to gain insight into how past experiences have shaped the person you are today. Your earliest relationships set the map for how you view the world, and there are often deep rooted reasons why you do the things that you do.
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Shame is like a weighted blanket that keeps you stuck. By developing a softer way of relating to yourself, you can experience more compassion, space, and energy. Life is hard enough without adding shame on top of the struggle.
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Every part of you significantly contributes to who you are as a person, and we want to hear and honor them. All parts of you are welcome here.
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You get to experiment with creative ways of handling an old problem. You can try on different ways of behaving and building a robust tool box of skills. options. Experiment. Practice. Play!
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Targeting trauma
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For those who have experienced intense trauma (including relational trauma), dogs and horses can provide a lower stakes relationship where you can build relational skills and experiences that feel safe and supportive. It’s completely optional whether you want to include dogs and horses in our time together.
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Traditional talk therapy typically does not address the physical body, but the evolving field of psychology supports the effectiveness and usefulness of integrating body work into therapy. As we increase awareness and connection to the body, we can have a more robust understanding of our nervous systems, how the body stores trauma, and ways to support nervous system regulation.
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The therapeutic relationship serves as a microcosm, and the things that happen in your real life tend to get repeated in the relationship with me. When this happens, we can work together to identify relational patterns and try on new ways of being in relationship together. The experience of rupture and repair within a safe relationship can be powerful.
But what does that actually look like?
It’s hard to describe the process of therapy if you’ve never done it before, but it’s kind of like learning to play the piano. You can read about playing the piano, study the musical score, learn all about different composers. But eventually, you have to sit down on the piano bench and experience it for yourself.
As a little girl, I took piano lessons, and I remember my piano teacher sitting next to me on the bench as she taught me. Sometimes she would play a scale for me to show me how it sounds. Sometimes she would give me do worksheets to teach me music theory. Sometimes she would ask me to try to sight read a song without knowing what it sounded like. Sometimes she would play with me at at the same time, and we would have four hands on the keys.
I believe a skilled therapist is able to teach the client valuable skills. (i.e., the notes, chords, and scales). This is helpful and necessary, and an important part of the learning process.
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But just as music goes beyond the notes and scales, a truly gifted therapist is able to go beyond skill building. They can connect with their own knowledge, practice, and experience to intuitively feel the music with you. They honor the timing. The volume. The energy. The bridge. The dissonance. The resolution.
So together we will practice different skills. We will learn some theory. Sometimes I will add notes of dissonance. Sometimes I will resolve a chord. Sometimes we will play with the softest and most gentle touch. And sometimes we will bang on the keys with fervor.
Eventually, your song will begin to emerge. The one that feels the most true, authentic, and genuine to you. There is no “right” song. There is only your song.
Even if you don’t pursue working with me, I hope you find a therapist who hears you and celebrates your evolving song. I hope you find a therapist who delights in your beautiful melody and who challenges you appropriately. I hope you find a therapist who genuinely enjoys making music with you.